Why Parents Benefit When They Lend A Hand

Much of what you know and believe about the world comes from a very specialized set of experiences. Your wisdom relies on the people you know, the challenges you've faced and the wins you've successfully accomplished.

You don't know what I know. And I certainly don't know what you know.

That's why we share. It's why we blog. It's why we post on Facebook and pin on Pinterest and tweet on Twitter. It's why we shut off all of these platforms and seek out real-life experiences with others.

Unless you believe everyone in your world is purely a self-promoter, you understand the value of relationship and hearing from other people. That's true even if their experiences don't line up with your own.

For all parents, being part of the community means having a support network. The network affirms what you already know: Your role in your child's life is important, but you can't control everything. And that's OK.

Just be available in case other fathers or mothers in your circle need a hand. Goodness knows they've been there for you and me both.

Comments

'A Link Between Angels And Men'

I ran across a quote today that I think is particularly true and that parents know better than anyone: “A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on earth, a link between angels and men.” That observation comes from the English writer Martin Farquhar Tupper , who lived from 1810 to 1889 . How is it that those words still resonate nearly 130 years after his death? Perhaps it is because they capture the joy of a newborn. Few sights are as innocent as a baby fast asleep, a hand across the chest, tiny fingers spread out and still. Indeed, it is this restful and unimpeded state so many adults seek and so few seem to find. Another explanation for the power of the passage is this: We have become so accustomed to the violence and suffering in our world that we long for the opposite state of being. It is a reality accessible only in our imaginations--and in the lives of our children. No wonder we seek to give t...

Make No Excuses

I come from a long line of apologists. By which I mean, we apologize and express regret for many if not most of the things we do, most days of the week. Perhaps you know people like this. As a parent, I have come to realize that this approach is largely a waste of time and energy. Both of those resources are in short supply. Who cares what other people think about your decisions? It's tough to critique people who act with integrity and within the framework of their faith. For example, tonight my energy is waning. Julie and I just completed our monthly budget. It is prime-time entertainment, let me tell you. I'd like to keep on pushing forward on my manuscript. That big announcement I've been promising is coming any day now. I'm beyond excited. It pains me that my eyelids are drooping. Microsoft Word will be around tomorrow, just as it is today. But tonight, I am saying: No. I've heard it's a complete sentence . You have my permission to say "n...

July 11: A Day Of Joy And Of Sorrow

Editor's note: My wife, Julie, surprised me this week with this guest post she wrote -- equal parts beautiful and heartbreaking -- to commemorate the anniversary of our embryo transfer. I should say her embryo transfer because she carried our amazing little girl for nine months. Thank you, sweetheart, for memorializing three precious lives and our experience. You are amazing. -Nate Exactly one year ago today, after many shots, pills and privacy probing doctor’s appointments, we had finally arrived at embryo transfer day. I was so nervous on this day and hormonal! We had planned to have the embryologist thaw out two of the three embryos we had adopted for transfer. After I had gotten changed in the prep room into a hospital gown for the transfer, our coordinator brought us back a photo of the embryo that was ready to transfer. I remember looking at Nate in awe at the little ball of cells that would become a baby. Then the questions started forming in mind: What about the ...

Thaw Your Baby: The Embryo Adoption Blog

Search This Blog