Skip to main content

Living The Nightmare

How often do we mentally characterize our days as living the nightmare while publicly declaring we are living the dream?

There's no need to varnish the truth. Politicians have a corner on that market.

Live with bruises. Admit when you are hurting. Ask for help. Complain if you must. Celebrate when you can.

If you had a bad day, say so. If your feet hurt, stop walking for a minute and throw them on the ottoman. (Literal throwing not advised; "placing" is probably best.)

This afternoon, I attended to half a dozen phone calls from the home office. I had to beg mercy from my mentor, who covered for a schedule conflict. Meanwhile, Phoebe dozed in her room and Ezra rolled around in his bed. He didn't nap, but he minded his manners and hopefully snatched a little rest.

The older boys arrived home and I poured circle crackers into plastic bowls while staging a conference call and troubleshooting through some technical issues.

It seemed like an epic battle -- hereafter known as The Battle of Trying To Appease Everyone -- at the time. Now, it sounds kind of mundane. Everyone lived. Hurt feelings didn't persist. Meetings and phone calls are as much a part of everyday life as breakfast and bedtime.

Life as a parent is only a nightmare when you paint the narrative and believe it's so.

Change the story line, and you can change your outlook.

What's one strategy you use to change your outlook on life when the day gets out of control? Share your secret by posting a comment below.


Popular posts from this blog

My New Embryo Adoption Book 'Frozen, But Not Forgotten' Publishes April 1, 2019

In first grade, I turned my journal into a book depicting scenes from my young life. I titled it "Little House in the Big City" and made it official by writing the title in permanent marker on the gold spine. The cover had a picture of a droopy-eared golden retriever against a red background.

OK, so the title and the cover didn't exactly line up. Work with me here.

Today, I have a different and arguably more exciting announcement. My first real book publishes April 1, 2019, from Carpenter's Son Publishing, and I couldn't be more thrilled because of the content.

This project has a singular mission: Help parents discover, learn about and consider embryo adoption as they build their families.

It is titled "Frozen, But Not Forgotten"**. Each chapter guides parents through the process Julie and I encountered, including making initial inquiries with adoption agencies, debunking myths about stolen babies, explaining why a fertile couple spends months with inf…

Why Couples Without Infertility Adopt Embryos

I'm grateful to one of my readers who recently posted a completely fair question to the blog: Why did you decide to pursue embryo adoption even though you didn't face infertility?

Julie and I made sure to address this issue right up front in the letter we wrote to the couple that eventually became our placing family. (Note: A placing family is adoption lingo for a couple whose embryos have been frozen. Without our placing family, little Phoebe wouldn't be part of our household. John and Kris, we'll never be able to adequately thank you! We're honored to be on this journey with you.)

You see, there were at least five primary reasons we chose embryo adoption:

Friends of friends had successfully adopted embryos and brought them to termJulie's background is as a scientist studying infertility, specifically endometriosisWe had discussed adoption since before we were married 10 years agoAs Christians, we believe life begins at conception, and that every embryo deserv…

July 11: A Day Of Joy And Of Sorrow

Editor's note: My wife, Julie, surprised me this week with this guest post she wrote -- equal parts beautiful and heartbreaking --  to commemorate the anniversary of our embryo transfer. I should say her embryo transfer because she carried our amazing little girl for nine months. Thank you, sweetheart, for memorializing three precious lives and our experience. You are amazing. -Nate

Exactly one year ago today, after many shots, pills and privacy probing doctor’s appointments, we had finally arrived at embryo transfer day. I was so nervous on this day and hormonal! We had planned to have the embryologist thaw out two of the three embryos we had adopted for transfer. After I had gotten changed in the prep room into a hospital gown for the transfer, our coordinator brought us back a photo of the embryo that was ready to transfer. I remember looking at Nate in awe at the little ball of cells that would become a baby. Then the questions started forming in mind: What about the other one…