Skip to main content

Living The Nightmare

How often do we mentally characterize our days as living the nightmare while publicly declaring we are living the dream?

There's no need to varnish the truth. Politicians have a corner on that market.

Live with bruises. Admit when you are hurting. Ask for help. Complain if you must. Celebrate when you can.

If you had a bad day, say so. If your feet hurt, stop walking for a minute and throw them on the ottoman. (Literal throwing not advised; "placing" is probably best.)

This afternoon, I attended to half a dozen phone calls from the home office. I had to beg mercy from my mentor, who covered for a schedule conflict. Meanwhile, Phoebe dozed in her room and Ezra rolled around in his bed. He didn't nap, but he minded his manners and hopefully snatched a little rest.

The older boys arrived home and I poured circle crackers into plastic bowls while staging a conference call and troubleshooting through some technical issues.

It seemed like an epic battle -- hereafter known as The Battle of Trying To Appease Everyone -- at the time. Now, it sounds kind of mundane. Everyone lived. Hurt feelings didn't persist. Meetings and phone calls are as much a part of everyday life as breakfast and bedtime.

Life as a parent is only a nightmare when you paint the narrative and believe it's so.

Change the story line, and you can change your outlook.

What's one strategy you use to change your outlook on life when the day gets out of control? Share your secret by posting a comment below.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

'A Link Between Angels And Men'

I ran across a quote today that I think is particularly true and that parents know better than anyone: “A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on earth, a link between angels and men.” That observation comes from the English writer Martin Farquhar Tupper , who lived from 1810 to 1889 . How is it that those words still resonate nearly 130 years after his death? Perhaps it is because they capture the joy of a newborn. Few sights are as innocent as a baby fast asleep, a hand across the chest, tiny fingers spread out and still. Indeed, it is this restful and unimpeded state so many adults seek and so few seem to find. Another explanation for the power of the passage is this: We have become so accustomed to the violence and suffering in our world that we long for the opposite state of being. It is a reality accessible only in our imaginations--and in the lives of our children. No wonder we seek to give them

Make No Excuses

I come from a long line of apologists. By which I mean, we apologize and express regret for many if not most of the things we do, most days of the week. Perhaps you know people like this. As a parent, I have come to realize that this approach is largely a waste of time and energy. Both of those resources are in short supply. Who cares what other people think about your decisions? It's tough to critique people who act with integrity and within the framework of their faith. For example, tonight my energy is waning. Julie and I just completed our monthly budget. It is prime-time entertainment, let me tell you. I'd like to keep on pushing forward on my manuscript. That big announcement I've been promising is coming any day now. I'm beyond excited. It pains me that my eyelids are drooping. Microsoft Word will be around tomorrow, just as it is today. But tonight, I am saying: No. I've heard it's a complete sentence . You have my permission to say "n

The Challenge

Sometimes, circumstances push us to act. Such is the case with my family's embryo adoption journey. Over the past two years, I've come to realize there's a tremendous thirst in our country, and among young couples in particular, to build families. I'm not just talking about the biological or technological processes that enable us to have children. I'm talking about building deep, lasting, meaningful relationships. And if we are building families, then we are necessarily trying to lay the foundation for the next generation. I didn't ever think I'd be here. When my wife, Julie, suggested that we pursue embryo adoption, I didn't think it was what I wanted to do. But with the arrival of my daughter, Phoebe, in March this year, all of that changed. She has our three sons in the palms of her little hands -- and I'm right there with them. If you are already my friend or my family, thank you for reading. If you don't know me from the man in the moo