Community Bowling

We celebrated Micah's 7th (!) birthday tonight at Mexico Lanes. We had two lanes operating at once, one for older kids and one for younger.

Phoebe, meanwhile, found her way from adult to adult, sleeping one moment, crying the next, then sleeping again.

Community is important for all parents. Adoption takes those needs to the next level. First, you need accepting people. Then, you need comforting people, caregivers, diaper-changers and on it goes.

You won't always get people with every different skill set in the same room. But when it happens, enjoy it. I did.

Your baby's life will be richer for it.

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The Sad Truth About Lost Family Time

Today as I drove to pick up Titus from Safety Camp, I noticed a funeral procession headed toward my car. I pulled over to the side of the road as had the other drivers around me out of respect for this family that had lost a beloved member. Life has a way of sobering us up to the reality that we are only here for a short time. Everyone's allocation is different and unpredictable. In recent months, with a fourth baby and a regularly evolving career, I have caught myself getting so caught up in checking boxes off my to-do list and ensuring everyone's needs are met -- including my own selfish desire for more, better, faster -- that I lose track of the moment. My children will only be little once. My laundry will most assuredly outlast me and probably my grandchildren. I have started asking myself a question when I am at home with my family. It haunts me, and that is why I ask it. I fear too few of us do it. The question is this: If this is the last time I am with the p...

'A Link Between Angels And Men'

I ran across a quote today that I think is particularly true and that parents know better than anyone: “A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on earth, a link between angels and men.” That observation comes from the English writer Martin Farquhar Tupper , who lived from 1810 to 1889 . How is it that those words still resonate nearly 130 years after his death? Perhaps it is because they capture the joy of a newborn. Few sights are as innocent as a baby fast asleep, a hand across the chest, tiny fingers spread out and still. Indeed, it is this restful and unimpeded state so many adults seek and so few seem to find. Another explanation for the power of the passage is this: We have become so accustomed to the violence and suffering in our world that we long for the opposite state of being. It is a reality accessible only in our imaginations--and in the lives of our children. No wonder we seek to give t...

The Hardest Thing About Parenting Is...

...Realizing you could have been kinder with your child. Or more empathetic. Or more affectionate. Or a better example, role model or spiritual anchor. Or less glued to technology that sucks away attention. Or far less selfish. The list could go on and on. The point is this: What are you doing now because of what you learned then? How are you bundling the raw, emotional energy -- of screwing up and veering off your vision for your family -- and converting it to action steps that get you back on track? A few suggestions: If you aren't leaning on your spouse, or a close circle of friends, or another trusted adviser, start leaning. Parenting is a lonely art without the wisdom of people who care about you and your family. Forget what everyone tells you. There are no parenting experts, only parenting experimenters operating on and recycling fundamental ideas that have been around for generations. Science and data are useful guideposts, but they can't replace th...

Thaw Your Baby: The Embryo Adoption Blog

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