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Recommended Resource: Kara King's GRACE; Blog

You should get to know my cousin Kara King. This past year, she launched a tremendous blog called GRACE; in conjunction with her return trip to South Korea, where she was born, and for anyone considering adoption, it's required reading.

Kara's story is particularly meaningful to me because 1) she's awesome, 2) she's family and 3) she brings fresh perspective to couples considering adoption and wondering, "Yes, but how will my baby feel about being adopted when she grows up?" More than that, she was the first baby to be adopted in our family. I can remember rocking on my Mamaw's porch in middle Tennessee and taking turns with my siblings stroking her hair as she slept.

Even then, Kara was a trailblazer.

To quote just one of Kara's observations, this one based on the close relationships she built with fellow adoptees:

"I can’t express into words how safe and comfortable it felt to be around so many people who just “got it.” They understood what it was like to grow up in a “white world” while being a minority. They understood what it was like to not know your birth parents. They understood what it felt like to have cultural expectations placed on you but never feeling like you can fully fulfill them, and the list could go on and on."

Without question, becoming part of a community -- multiple communities, actually -- is such a fundamental part of the adoption experience. I'm no expert because I've just started the journey. But Kara and her family (love y'all!) have been on this path for quite some time, which is why I advise you to seek out experts like them.

Families are wonderful, complicated and ever-changing. Unlike with Kara's experience, many embryo adoptions are open from the beginning, and both adopting and placing families know many, many details about the other.

It's a tremendous privilege. And while I have no doubt Phoebe will still have lots of questions when she is older, I'm thankful to know there are smart and wise-beyond-years women such as Kara to guide her.

Comments

Anonymous said…

It's wonderful to gain experience and understanding from people who have traveled the same path as you are trekking. . Each span of life is eased by knowing that you are not alone while dealing with your feelings and knowing that others have survived the uncertainties that you are facing. Being able to share fears and having questions answered eases the load and smooths the road.
I know the family Nate and Kara are part of and if you need an example of how a strong family functions, this clan creates a well glued together group picture. Always there for one another when needed and overflowing with love and kindness.
Thrilled with your new blog, Nate. Kaye Adams. FISHKILL New York
June 23, 2018 at 7:56 AM
Nate said…
Thanks so much for your kind comments, Auntie Kaye. You're exactly right -- we have an awesome bedrock in my grandparents and even generations before them in how families should function. We love you and appreciate you! Thanks for being such a special part of our road of life.
June 24, 2018 at 3:22 AM
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