One of the biggest challenges you will face on your journey to embryo adoption is the constant temptation to look at the clock. It's pure muscle memory. We do it in every aspect of our lives.
At our house, everything involving the boys involves a timer. For example, Titus asks, "When's dessert?" I pull out my phone, set the timer to five minutes and tell him to go run off some energy until it's time. It isn't a perfect system, but he prefers having something concrete. It's an objective source of feedback that doesn't involve his daddy's whims and lack of judgment.
That's the blessing -- and the curse -- of the clock as adults. On the one hand, it's a reassuring reminder that you are moving forward. You are making progress. You are one step closer to meeting your embryo baby. Every application completed, every email sent, is a few ticks of the second hand nearer the finish line.
But the clock is also a terrible judge of many other things. It is an awful mirror. It tells you nothing about the depth of the emotions you feel each day as you reflect on your adoption dreams and all of the things that could possibly go wrong along the way.
It can't ferry you forward in time to see how everything turns out OK in the end. Nor can it take you backward and help you reword that message you just sent or the phone call you just made that provided less information than you'd hoped.
You can burn up precious energy fretting over what will be or has been. That's an option.
Or you can find something to channel your energy. Find a project around your house that you love. Make a list of books you've been meaning to read and crack a spine. Call someone you care about and ask how they're doing. Send a thank-you note.
When you feel tempted to invest time stewing on your own problems, try instead to use that energy to celebrate life or, better yet, help someone else appreciate their place in the world.
Your baby will set your schedule when he or she arrives. Babies don't look at the clock.
Neither should you.
That's the blessing -- and the curse -- of the clock as adults. On the one hand, it's a reassuring reminder that you are moving forward. You are making progress. You are one step closer to meeting your embryo baby. Every application completed, every email sent, is a few ticks of the second hand nearer the finish line.
But the clock is also a terrible judge of many other things. It is an awful mirror. It tells you nothing about the depth of the emotions you feel each day as you reflect on your adoption dreams and all of the things that could possibly go wrong along the way.
It can't ferry you forward in time to see how everything turns out OK in the end. Nor can it take you backward and help you reword that message you just sent or the phone call you just made that provided less information than you'd hoped.
You can burn up precious energy fretting over what will be or has been. That's an option.
Or you can find something to channel your energy. Find a project around your house that you love. Make a list of books you've been meaning to read and crack a spine. Call someone you care about and ask how they're doing. Send a thank-you note.
When you feel tempted to invest time stewing on your own problems, try instead to use that energy to celebrate life or, better yet, help someone else appreciate their place in the world.
Your baby will set your schedule when he or she arrives. Babies don't look at the clock.
Neither should you.
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