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The Hardest Thing About Parenting Is...

...Realizing you could have been kinder with your child.

Or more empathetic.

Or more affectionate.

Or a better example, role model or spiritual anchor.

Or less glued to technology that sucks away attention.

Or far less selfish.

The list could go on and on.

The point is this: What are you doing now because of what you learned then? How are you bundling the raw, emotional energy -- of screwing up and veering off your vision for your family -- and converting it to action steps that get you back on track?

A few suggestions:

  • If you aren't leaning on your spouse, or a close circle of friends, or another trusted adviser, start leaning. Parenting is a lonely art without the wisdom of people who care about you and your family.
  • Forget what everyone tells you. There are no parenting experts, only parenting experimenters operating on and recycling fundamental ideas that have been around for generations. Science and data are useful guideposts, but they can't replace the emotional investment you pour into a child. Do your homework, but trust your instincts.
  • Don't let discouragement hold you back. Emotion isn't the enemy of parenting, it's a catalyst. Complex feelings and personalities naturally crash together like waves against a rock. Each of us parents from a different playbook and vastly different circumstances. Yours might be especially daunting. Be kind to yourself and expect the same from others in your life.
If you are anything like me, there are nights when your children go to bed and you desperately wish you could wake them up, hold them closely and ask for a do-over.

That's counterproductive. 

Let them sleep. Get some rest yourself. And greet the sunrise committed to making it your best day of parenting yet.

What is the hardest part of parenting, in your opinion? Share your comments below.

Comments

Anonymous said…

Letting them go when they are ready to fly and leave the nest. Letting them make their own mistakes just like you made yours. Thinking that you could have...should have done better.
June 27, 2018 at 12:48 AM
Nate said…
Well said -- and thank you for the comment. As you can probably tell, I haven't been through the process of letting them out of the nest -- yet. But I can only imagine that takes a lot of courage as a parent. Thank you for the encouragement.
June 27, 2018 at 10:18 PM
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