Skip to main content

The Rush And The Rabbit Hole

The tendency to want to hurry up and move along is natural. But left unchecked it can become an anchor that weighs down an otherwise purposeful journey toward something better.

As in:

  • Adopting a child
  • Saving for a vacation (or, to stretch the time horizon even further, retirement)
  • Seeking a promotion

All of these are worthy objectives. Yet if the brain is allowed to wander, it will begin to go down the rabbit hole and replace joy with anxiety.

In those cases, it asks, "Is it ever going to happen? Will the day finally arrive? Why are the hours dragging by? What good is all of the stuff between now and then?"

Actually, the stuff between now and then is worth a lot. You can choose to savor each moment, painful though some might be. You can learn, ask smart questions and cast a vision that will make others in your circle of influence excited to go along for the ride.

Or you can stew and fret and drive yourself crazy while the second hand on the clock ticks agonizingly by.

If a baby is in your future, doesn't he or she deserve your full attention? Why waste energy worrying when you could be praying, or completing paperwork, or reading a book about parenting?

Why rush when relaxation tempered with progress will get you there faster?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

'A Link Between Angels And Men'

I ran across a quote today that I think is particularly true and that parents know better than anyone: “A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on earth, a link between angels and men.” That observation comes from the English writer Martin Farquhar Tupper , who lived from 1810 to 1889 . How is it that those words still resonate nearly 130 years after his death? Perhaps it is because they capture the joy of a newborn. Few sights are as innocent as a baby fast asleep, a hand across the chest, tiny fingers spread out and still. Indeed, it is this restful and unimpeded state so many adults seek and so few seem to find. Another explanation for the power of the passage is this: We have become so accustomed to the violence and suffering in our world that we long for the opposite state of being. It is a reality accessible only in our imaginations--and in the lives of our children. No wonder we seek to give them

Make No Excuses

I come from a long line of apologists. By which I mean, we apologize and express regret for many if not most of the things we do, most days of the week. Perhaps you know people like this. As a parent, I have come to realize that this approach is largely a waste of time and energy. Both of those resources are in short supply. Who cares what other people think about your decisions? It's tough to critique people who act with integrity and within the framework of their faith. For example, tonight my energy is waning. Julie and I just completed our monthly budget. It is prime-time entertainment, let me tell you. I'd like to keep on pushing forward on my manuscript. That big announcement I've been promising is coming any day now. I'm beyond excited. It pains me that my eyelids are drooping. Microsoft Word will be around tomorrow, just as it is today. But tonight, I am saying: No. I've heard it's a complete sentence . You have my permission to say "n

The Challenge

Sometimes, circumstances push us to act. Such is the case with my family's embryo adoption journey. Over the past two years, I've come to realize there's a tremendous thirst in our country, and among young couples in particular, to build families. I'm not just talking about the biological or technological processes that enable us to have children. I'm talking about building deep, lasting, meaningful relationships. And if we are building families, then we are necessarily trying to lay the foundation for the next generation. I didn't ever think I'd be here. When my wife, Julie, suggested that we pursue embryo adoption, I didn't think it was what I wanted to do. But with the arrival of my daughter, Phoebe, in March this year, all of that changed. She has our three sons in the palms of her little hands -- and I'm right there with them. If you are already my friend or my family, thank you for reading. If you don't know me from the man in the moo